


Yo Ho, It's a Pirate Halloween

by distant_rose



Series: Little Pirates [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Swan Children, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Future Fic, Halloween, Insane Amounts of Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 09:19:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10851018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distant_rose/pseuds/distant_rose
Summary: Emma has plans for this Halloween. Cute, adorable plans that might involve punning on the fact her husband was a goddamn cartoon character and that her kids have actual pirate names. However, her family isn’t being the most compliant to said plans as she finds herself having to make deals with both Killian and her children.





	Yo Ho, It's a Pirate Halloween

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I would like to thank welpthisishappening for encouraging me to write this and dealing with my nuisance self for the past two days as I banged this out and constantly asked for her opinion. All mistakes are mine because I am trash. (In this fic, Harrison is 8, Wes is 6 and Beth is 4. Henry is obviously in college.)

“Westley Graham Jones, stop squirming,” Emma hissed at her son as she pulled her eyeliner pen away from his face, giving him a stern look. Her six year old did not look impressed by this. Wes was always a wriggler as an infant, even more so now that he had grown enough where he could finally use all that energy. Normally, Emma loved how lively he was, but if he didn’t stop moving, all of her hard work was going to end in disaster.

“Why are you doing this to me?” He whined, wrinkling his nose at her in displeasure and shifting on his feet in irritation. The kid really just didn’t stop.

“Because you, Little Duck, are the Dread Pirate Roberts,” Emma responded, giving his shoulder a firm squeeze. “And the Dread Pirate Roberts has a mustache and if you stop moving around, we can get this over with.”

“I wanted to be Buzz Lightyear,” Wes muttered with a pout, but staying still enough so that Emma could finish penciling in a thin mustache on his upper lip. She finished her task with flourish despite the beseeching look in his wide baby blue eyes to stop, cease and desist.

“But being Buzz Lightyear doesn’t give you extra candy in your basket, does it?” Emma asked wryly, reminding Wes of the promise that she had made them all when she had decided to go forth with her Halloween plans. Ever since her daughter had been able to walk, she had wanted to do this.

“Stop whining and let Mom do it,” her older son Harrison commented from his place on the couch. He was laying on it rather precariously with half of his body on the couch, the other half hanging over the side; his little eight-year-old form contorted in such a fashion that he was upside down with his head merely a few inches away from the unforgiving hard wood floor. Emma had no idea how he’s been able to lay like that for so long without all the blood rushing to his head. Harrison and his line of thinking was a bit of a mystery sometimes.

“Harrison, get up and sit properly! You’re making me nervous,” she admonished him while she capped her eyeliner pen, pleased with her work. She gave Wes a gentle pat on the head, heedful not to jostle the carefully wrapped bandana that kept his wild blonde hair from sight. She was going to have a hell of a time convincing him to wear the mask later as it was without having to re-tie the damn thing.

Harrison pulled a face in response like the typical eight-year old he was, but complied, crossing his arms in front of his chest and offering her the same pout she had seen Killian pull a million times. Like father, like son as the saying went. It only made her snort and bite the comment back. The poor kid was going to get a complex or something if they kept mentioning the likeness between him and his father.

“Well, what do we think of our Pirate King?” Henry’s question pulled Emma from her reverie and she turned to look at her eldest child carrying her youngest, both of them with matching grins and dressed in their costumes. Henry looked like he had pilfered the majority of his clothes from Killian’s closet, leather jacket and white v-neck linen shirt fitting loosely while her daughter looked positively adorable, wearing a costume maroon vest, brown beeches and a black tricorn hat that looked two sizes too big for her head. Emma couldn’t stop herself from grinning at the sight.

“You look gorgeous, Your Majesty,” Emma grinned at her daughter, taking the child’s tiny hand off Henry’s shoulders and giving it a light kiss on the knuckles as she knew Killian would do in this situation. Her daughter, ever the precocious one, made an unaffected sniff at the playing gesture. Both Henry and Emma laughed.

“Captain,” she replied, the hand Emma kissed giving a casual wave as if dismissing her.

“What do Pirate Kings say when they are complemented, Beth?” Henry asked, raising his eyebrows at his little sister and shifting her in his arms so he could bare her weight better. At four-years of age, Beth was getting heavier and heavier and Emma was amazed that Henry hadn’t put her down yet, but then again, Henry was more than dutiful in his role as an older brother to his far younger siblings. It often made Emma’s heart want to burst.

“Thank you, Captain,” Beth replied again, looking at Henry in slight irritation; annoyed to be called out on her manners. Emma chuckled at her expression and leaned forward to kiss her dark brow.

“Thank you, Henry.” Emma turned her attention to her eldest son, rubbing her thumb against the line of his cheek. Sometimes she couldn’t believe that he was in college and nearly grown. The fourteen years that had passed since he had found her in Boston seemed have passed like a blur. Twenty-eight year old Emma and forty-two year old Emma belonged in almost entirely different universes; light years away from each other. She had Henry to thank for that.

The front door opened and a familiar heavy footfall followed. Killian was home and the entire mood of the house changed. Her boys, both grouchy and full of sass this afternoon, were now standing at attention with smiles on their faces as they turn to face their father.

“What is all of this?” Killian asked with a quirk of his brow as he casually tossed his keys into the dish next to the door, his blue eyes surveying the scene in mild interest. The entire living room was in chaos with black linen shirts, feathered hats, toy guns and candy littering the floor. Emma was slightly surprised that Killian’s fingers hadn’t twitched in need to fix the mess; not that he was given much time to really assess it as both Harrison and Wes scrambled to greet him. Both of her little ones flank Killian’s sides, Harrison’s dark head resting in the crook of his father’s arm while Wes clung to his knee, not tall enough yet to reach Killian’s waist. There’s barely two years between her sons, but their difference in height was so stark that she doubted Wes would ever catch up to Harrison.

“Halloween,” Emma replied simply, gesturing to the candy.

“This is quite the production, Swan.” Killian patted Harrison on the back good-naturedly before bringing up his hand to worry his jaw as he continued to look around the room at the Halloween explosion that had taken over their house. She could already see the anxiety in his gaze over the amount of pick-up that needed to be done.

“Yeah, but I’ve wanted to do this for awhile now and now I can.”

The explanation was simple enough, however what she didn’t mention was that her plans had been in response to her own parents’ Halloween plans. Since Neal and the newest addition to the Charming Family, Emma’s sister Ruthie, were old enough to appreciate Halloween, they had done family themed costumes like the obnoxiously cute couple that they were. They had been Salt, Pepper, Paprika and Cinnamon from Blue Clues last year. This year they were the Ninja Turtles. It wasn’t that Emma felt the need to compete with them, however this was something she couldn’t pass up. Ever since Henry had made a comment on the subtle pirate theme behind his siblings’ names, she knew it was something that needed to happen.

“And I wanted to be Buzz Lightyear…” Wes grumbled again, looking up at his father with big sad puppy eyes as if imploring him for assistance against his mother’s nefarious plans.

“Hey! I promised to double your candy if you were the Dread Pirate Roberts!” Emma reminded her son, placing her hands on her hips and arching an eyebrow at him. He had agreed to this; there was no way her little punk was reneging on their deal. They had shook on it.

“And why can’t he be Buzz Lightyear?” Killian asked, gently rubbing circles into Wes’s shoulder with his prosthetic hand. Wes leaned against Killian in response, his head resting just under the pocket of Killian’s jeans.

“Because we’re themed this year. And the category is Disney pirates,” Emma said as if it were obvious.

Killian made no immediate comment to her declaration, merely rose both eyebrows at her in a way that Emma knew well enough to interpret as him silently saying “As you wish.” Both boys seemed to understand that no intervention was going to take place on their behalf and slipped away from the room, no doubt to find something nefarious to do.

“I’m the Pirate King, Daddy,” Beth exclaimed, her fist raised in the air as if to add dramatic flair to her announcement. Leave it to her daughter to inherit her husband’s melodramatic tendencies. She was going to be a hellion when she finally hit her teenage years. Emma could already see it.

Killian’s eyes lit up at the declaration and a hearty chuckle left his lips as he transversed across the room. There was a small rare smile on Killian’s face, one that was especially reserved for their daughter. Killian loved all of their children, of this Emma had no question, however there was incredibly special bond between him and their daughter; a connection that went beyond Emma’s full understanding but she had watched it grow from the moment Beth had opened her eyes. It made her heartache.

“If I recall correctly, Little Love, you are already a pirate queen,” Killian responded, his eyes entirely on Beth as he settled at Emma’s side, giving her hip a squeeze and bestowing a kiss on her temple in greeting. Emma immediately curled her arm around his waist, smiling and leaning against his shoulder.

“Yes, Beth Jones is the Pirate Queen,” Emma chuckled, leaning forward to tap Beth on the nose. Beth’s face scrunched at the gesture and little giggles followed. “But it’s Halloween, and now she’s Elizabeth Swann the Pirate King and Wes is the Princess Bride-”

“Hey! I’m not the Princess BRIDE! I’m the Dread Pirate Roberts!” Wes interrupted with a scowl as he and Harrison returned into the room, this time holding the large bowl of Halloween candy that Emma had painstakingly tried to hide from her sweet-toothed children. As if to make a point, Wes took a Twix bar out of the bowl, unwrapped it and popped it in his mouth all while keeping in eye contact with Emma. She narrowed her eyes.

“Yes, we know. Wes is the Dread Pirate Roberts FROM the Princess Bride. Harrison is, of course, Han Solo and Henry is Jim Hawkins from Treasure Planet,” Emma stated in annoyance, reaching over and taking the candy bowl from Wes’s grasp.

Her six-year old put up a token protest, but did little more than yelp and glare as Emma passed the bowl to Killian. Her husband chuckled, shaking his head and muttering something about ‘little pirates’ under his breath before walking over to the mantle and placing the candy bowl on top, keeping it in sight and out of the reach of mischievous small children.

“And because I’m Han Solo, I don’t get a sword,” Harrison grumbled, crossing his arms in front of his chest, causing his black costume vest to crinkle.

Both Emma and Killian exchanged a look at Harrison’s complaining, not entirely understanding the significance of not having a sword. He had never shown interest in them before, even when David and Killian had offered to teach them how to use them with practice swords made of wooden sticks.

“No, you get a blaster and that’s just as good. We can be blaster buddies together, Harrison!” Henry said with a laugh, placing Beth back down on the floor; releasing her from her perch on Henry’s hip. Beth immediately made a bee-line for Killian while Henry made his way over to Harrison and gave his dark mane of hair a firm good-natured ruffle. Harrison beamed in response, looking up at Henry with absolute hero worship in his eyes.

“Wanna go find matching blasters, bud?” Henry asked his younger brother, his fingers still raking through Harrison’s mop.

Harrison nodded his head eagerly at Henry’s question, taking his older brother’s hand without much warning and nearly dragging Henry up the stairs to no doubt tear their way through Harrison’s toy chest until they found matching toy guns that were fit to Harrison’s meticulous standards. The boy was a picky one and Emma had just spent a good hour and a half looking at costume vests that met his approval before he agreed to be Han Solo for Halloween.

“I can see that and who are you supposed to be in that ridiculous getup, Swan?” Killian asked, eying Emma’s own clothing as he pulled Beth up, placed a kiss on her forehead and cradled her against his hip.

Emma laughed for a moment, looking down at her attire. For her own Halloween outfit, she had chosen a scarlet red greatcoat, maroon knee breeches, a dressy pink silk shirt and a frilly white cravat necktie. She offered her husband a smirk as she snatched the absurdly large feathered hat and placed it upon her head with flourish.

“Captain Hook!” She declared, giving Killian a mock bow.

Emma watched with amusement as the muscle in Killian’s cheek twitched, a sure sign that her husband was biting back his irritation. He gave her a look of pure annoyance, slightly jostling their giggling daughter as he walked forward to inspect her rather flamboyant attire. Killian carefully dropped Beth to the floor. Beth made a noise of protest, but Killian ignored it in favor of examining Emma’s outfit. Sensing she no longer had her father’s attention, Beth joined Wes on the couch, both of them half-heartedly watching television in an attempt to distract themselves from their own displeasure.

“I wouldn’t be caught dead in such an ensemble,” Killian muttered, picking at her greatcoat in distaste.

“Yes, it’s farther into the Purple Rain category than you’re willing to go, but alas I’m Disney you and that isn’t the real you. I’ve also never seen Mr. Smee wear stripes, but that’s what you’re wearing tonight, babe.”

Emma picked up the blue striped shirt and bright red beanie that laying on the table next to her hat and tossed both articles at him. Killian let out a scoff, picking up both the hat and shirt gingerly by the tips of his fingers, as if he wanted the absolute minimum contact he could manage with the offending pieces of clothing.

“I’m not going as Mr. Smee, Swan.”

Emma, who had been married to Killian long enough to know that she could get him to bend to anything if she played her cards right, merely smirked at him for a moment before stepping forward to crowd his personal space. Placing a hand on his chest, Emma looked up at him through her lashes.

“Killian...if you do this for me...there will be a lot of pancakes in your future,” Emma stated in a low voice, making sure the little ears in the room weren’t able to pick up on their conversation. They’ve taken to speaking in code in front of their children about things of a more adult nature, but Emma knew that it was only a matter of time before they picked up on the fact they were definitely not talking about pancakes and got too curious. “...Lots and lots of pancakes.”

“There’s already a lot of pancakes in my future, love.” Killian replied, not convinced. He looked down at her, eyebrow once again crooked in lieu of an unspoken challenge.

“Yes, I know, but these are specialty pancakes, Killian. Anytime, anywhere, anything...within reason,” she chuckled, running her hands down his torso in emphasis. She watched as he processed her words, his expressive face giving way to the conflict underneath as he weighed his options. He wanted to give in, she could tell, but his pride wouldn’t let him give in without a fight.

“Define ‘within reason’, love,” Killian whispered as he stepped closer, his lips brushing against hers as he spoke.

Emma stepped back from him, giving her husband a glare while she crossed her arms in front of her chest to let him know how unimpressed she was with him. She glanced briefly towards the little ones on the couch, making sure that they weren’t watching the display.

“Killian, we’ve been married for nearly ten years. If you don’t know what’s within reason in regards to pancakes, we have a serious problem!” Emma hissed at him, before giving him a whack on the shoulder. Killian merely chuckled.

“I’m teasing you, Swan,” he smirked, capturing the hand that smacked him and giving it a delicate kiss on the knuckles that didn’t match the burning look in his eyes. He knew her weaknesses just as well as she knew his.

“I got that, but babe, pancakes is no laughing matter especially when we’re dealing with the K-I-D-S’s.”

She tilted her head towards their two youngest children sitting on the couch to emphasize her point. Both were now watching them with interest. Emma groaned internally. It was only a matter of time before they started asking uncomfortable questions. She wasn’t quite ready for those days to come.

“I want pancakes too, Daddy!” Beth declared, pushing herself up on the large arm of the sofa in order to look at them.

Both Emma and Killian stiffened at the statement, looking at each other as if silently begging the other how to proceed on this front. The nerve in Killian’s cheek ticked again while Emma tried to keep back her nervous laughter. He gave her shoulder a squeeze before answering their daughter.

“Not until you’re thirty-five and married, love. That’s a grown up treat,” Killian answered smoothly, turning his attention back to Emma before Beth could get another word in. “You’ve made your point and have yourself a deal, Swan, but I expect delivery on those pancakes to start tonight.”

“Just because they have no idea what you’re talking about doesn’t mean I don’t,” Henry called in disgust over their shoulders, walking back into the living room with Harrison in tow. Harrison was clutching Henry’s hand, swinging them with the merriment of a content child as they approached; blasters in hand.

“You’re a man grown, Henry, I think you’ll survive,” Killian remarked dryly.

“I might, but it’s possible that this one and the other two will need therapy early in life,” Henry sassed back, looking down at Harrison and giving their clasped hands a squeeze. Harrison looked up at his older brother in confusion, but thankfully said nothing.

Emma merely rolled her eyes.

“Very funny,” she remarked, placing a hand on her hip. “Are Mr. Hawkins and Captain Solo ready to go?”

“Yes Captain!” Henry answered, giving a mock salute before leaning over to tickle Harrison’s ribs. Harrison squealed in response, trying to wiggle away from Henry’s fingers but completely trapped in the circle of his older brother’s arms. Emma grinned at the scene, shaking her head before turning her attention back to Killian.

“We wait at your leisure, Mr. Smee,” she drawled casually while gesturing to the small clothing pile he had made when he dropped the shirt and beanie in favor of their negotiations, for a lack of a better term.

“Aye, Captain,” Killian chuckled, giving his wife a smirk and a wink before undoing the buttons of his waistcoat with ease and pulling his dress shirt over his head, not even bothering with those set of buttons. Henry made a choked tittering noise behind them.

“Seriously, you’re getting undressed right here?” Henry asked in exasperation. “There are innocent eyes in the room.”

“Is Daddy naked?” Beth asked in a horrified whisper, whipping her head around to focus on the scene that was taking place behind the couch. Her green eyes wide as saucers.

Killian laughed, tossing both articles of clothing on the table in a more careful fashion than Emma would have ever accomplished. The man was a neat freak. He was also half naked and smirking at her in ways that made the bottom of her stomach swoop. Killian was no longer as young as he used to be, but he was still in incredible shape and if anything, the gray coming in at his temples and streaking across his torso only made him look more distinguished. He had aged well despite his initial panic and fears. Now, the only problem was that he knew it and used it against her in ways that she could only describe as delightfully vicious.

“Relax, it’s just skin. Nothing you haven’t seen before when we’ve gone to the beach, Little Beth,” Killian reassured their daughter with a casual wave of his hand, not even amping down the smolder he was sending towards Emma. She was fighting back her own grin.

“Seriously guys, cut the bedroom eyes!” Henry replied, snapping his fingers as if he physically needed to break the tension between his mother and stepfather. “There are kids in need of candy!”

“Candy that you said you would double, Mom! Don’t forget that!” Wes called from the couch, eying Emma suspiciously as if he was expecting her to double cross him at any moment. Emma rolled her eyes.

“Yes, I remember,” she replied. “A deal is a deal.”

“You would think after all of these years, you would learn not to make deals with pirates, Swan,” Killian chuckled, playfully tsking her as he pulled the striped shirt over his head and down his body. Emma’s jaw clenched at the snug fit. Perhaps she should have gotten a size up, if only for her sanity...and the sanity of the mothers who would be helping their little ones trick-or-treating tonight.

“How do I look?” He asked as he pulled the red beanie over his head and gave a turn so Emma could get the full effect.

“Like a dashing first mate, sailor,” Emma replied, giving him a look as she picked up the clunky plastic hook that had come with her outfit and pulled it over her hand.

Henry and Harrison both groaned at the exchange, making Emma and Killian laugh. Emma wasn’t quite certain Harrison actually understood what was so disgusting about their banter, but knew that regardless he was going to do exactly what Henry said or did. It was kinda adorable to see. Emma watched Killian out of the corner of her eye as she giggled, and she could see the faraway look in his eyes despite his own chuckling. She could tell by the wistful smile that took over his face that he was thinking about Liam and his own childhood while looking at the boys. She knew it couldn’t be helped, but she did hope that he was at least thinking back on good memories, as few and far in between had been for him.

“Can we go now since Daddy isn’t naked?” Beth asked, looking at them with an impatient expression. Her four-year old looked like she was on the verge of scolding them. It nearly sent Emma into another round of hysterics. Her kids were too much sometimes.

“Yes, yes, we can go now,” Emma replied, giving her daughter a patient smile. “Now go get your candy baskets or else you’re not going to be able to haul any loot.”

“Just so we’re clear,” Wes scrambled off the couch to pick up his plastic pumpkin basket and facing his parents with the most grave expression Emma had ever seen a six-year old wear. “This double candy thing? Is it by piece or are you just doubling it by refilling our baskets? Because if you’re just refilling our baskets, can I go get a pillowcase?”

Emma’s jaw dropped. She stared at her son, unable to speak for a moment; opening and closing her mouth in succession a few times but no words coming out. Without answering Wes, she turned to face her husband.

“I blame you for this,” she stated, shock evident in her tone.

Killian gave a casual shrug in response, seemingly not bothered by the fact their son was trying to renegotiate her candy terms.

“It was a good question. A pirate needs to know his terms, love, or else he misses out on a bigger boon,” Killian replied, once more picking up their daughter and kissing her forehead to hide his smirk. Emma narrowed her eyes at him before turning her attention back to Wes.

“I’m just refilling the baskets and no, you may not get a pillowcase. That’s it. That’s the deal. No more additions, exceptions or subtractions. Got it?” She stated, waving her plastic hook at her son in emphasis.

Wes gave her a sour look, but nodded in compliance, obviously upset that he wasn’t getting more out of their deal. Emma merely shook her head in exasperation. Like with Beth, she was already fearing his teenage years. He was going to be the worst.

“Alright, crew! Are we ready to go?” Killian asked them, clapping his hand and prosthetic together in hopes of commanding their children’s attention. Emma arched an eyebrow at him.

“Excuse me? Who is the captain here?” She asked, cocking a hand on her hip

“My apologies, Swan. Please proceed to take the reins,” he responded. His words were polite, but the look in his eyes said she was going to pay for this in the most delightful way when they would be alone later. She honestly couldn’t wait.

“Alright, bilge rats, we ready?” Emma asked, shaking her head and smiling.

“Yes!!!” Harrison, Wes and Beth chorused in excitement. Her three youngest all lined at the door, looking like race horses gnawing at the bit and waiting for the gates to open. Only Henry loomed behind, picking up the candy by the mantle with a wistful smile on his face. 

“Henry, you ready?” Emma asked, arching an eyebrow at him and tilting her head towards the door.

Her eldest gave her a bewildered look as if he had absolutely no clue what she was talking about. His fingers drumming anxiously against the candy bowl.

“I thought you wanted me on candy duty so you and Killian could take them trick-or-treating? Isn’t that why you called me back from school?” Henry asked, eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

Killian and Emma looked at each other in puzzlement, silently questioning the other how Henry had gotten that impression. They had called him home because they hadn’t seen him since they had dropped him off for school in September and his absence had been one sorely missed and constantly questioned by their other children. Harrison, who was the most attached to Henry, inquired about Henry’s status almost daily, following it up by FaceTiming his older brother on the regular.

“Absolutely not,” Killian answered. “You’re here because you’re part of the crew and no man gets left behind on this ship. We’re just gonna leave the bowl on the front step and hope the good kids of Storybrooke have a sense of honor enough to take just one piece instead of the entire bowl.” He paused for a moment and looked back at Emma. “Was that answer out of line, Captain?”

“That answer was perfect, Mr. Smee,” Emma replied, nudging him with her fake hook before addressing Henry. “Now get in line, Mr. Hawkins, before I punish you for desertion.”

Henry’s smile was almost too big for his face as he joined his little siblings at the front door. Immediately he had to balance the candy bowl on his hip as Harrison practically yanked Henry’s arm to take his hand. Beth giggled at the sight while Wes took the opportunity to steal another piece of candy from the bowl. Emma took Killian’s hand and gave it a squeeze before ushering their children out the door.

“Alright, Joneses. Let’s get us some loot.”


End file.
